The Blasphemous Bicycler

I’m sorely tempted to buy a Mr. Gruff T-shirt, but I hate to put monies in the coffers of these people.

Update!

You can download instructions to make your very own oragami Mr. Gruff and Jesus action figures!

Look-it what I found going through old church stuff.
Here’s the church in 1898. Almost exactly the same as it is today.

Back in those days, a man really knew how to wear a beard. Note that he wears no moustache.

I have some relatives buried out back who were in Rev. Clouser’s congregation.

My great-granddad is in this picture. (back row, second one in from the right) He died three years after this picture was taken and two years before I was born. I think this is the only picture of him I’ve ever seen.

So yeah, I just got a scanner. Now I can bore the whole world with old photo albums and whatnot.

When I was a little kid, my parents took me to this church for my weekly dose of Christianity and out-of-tune hymn-singing.

Many years have gone by since then, and now almost everyone who went to this church either stopped going, moved away, or got old and died.

The church is a few months away from total fiscal collapse unless someone can think up a good way to put some butts in the pews.

It’s too bad, really, because the building is very cool. It was built in the mid 1800’s on the site of the original log cabin church that was built in the 1700’s (supposedly, the first church in the Buffalo Valley).

There are still a few little old ladies who go to church here, and if their church goes kaputt, they are going to be very sad ladies indeed. So, I’ve been trying to help them come up with clever ideas for how to keep it going.

As you might expect, church stuff is really not my area of expertise.

I suspect that at least some of my readers are church-people. Do any of you have brilliant marketing/recruiting ideas, or know of websites, etc where such ideas might be hiding?

April Tomfoolery aside, these are my actual results from Belief-O-Matic.

It’s more or less what I expected, although I would have predicted that I was more Mahayana than Theravada.

1. Theravada Buddhism (100%)
2. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
3. Secular Humanism (98%)
4. Liberal Quakers (85%)
5. Mahayana Buddhism (72%)
6. Nontheist (71%)
7. Taoism (71%)
8. Neo-Pagan (71%)
9. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (60%)
10. Jainism (53%)
11. Orthodox Quaker (51%)
12. Hinduism (49%)
13. New Age (49%)
14. Sikhism (45%)
15. Reform Judaism (41%)
16. Scientology (37%)
17. New Thought (35%)
18. Baha’i Faith (34%)
19. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (29%)
20. Seventh Day Adventist (26%)
21. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (23%)
22. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (17%)
23. Eastern Orthodox (15%)
24. Islam (15%)
25. Orthodox Judaism (15%)
26. Roman Catholic (15%)
27. Jehovah’s Witness (11%)

I took the belief-o-matic quiz, and whaddyaknow, turns out I’m an orthodox Christian.

As a result, there will be no more blasphemy on this blog, and I will henceforth ride my bicycle only in accordance with Christ-Centered living and with strict adherence to Biblical teaching.

My Results:
1. Eastern Orthodox (100%)
2. Roman Catholic (100%)
3. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (98%)
4. Seventh Day Adventist (92%)
5. Orthodox Quaker (84%)
6. Orthodox Judaism (72%)
7. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (67%)
8. Islam (66%)
9. Hinduism (58%)
10. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (58%)
11. Jehovah’s Witness (55%)
12. Sikhism (51%)
13. Baha’i Faith (47%)
14. Liberal Quakers (38%)
15. Reform Judaism (37%)
16. Jainism (35%)
17. Unitarian Universalism (30%)
18. Mahayana Buddhism (26%)
19. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (26%)
20. Theravada Buddhism (25%)
21. Scientology (22%)
22. Neo-Pagan (22%)
23. Nontheist (18%)
24. New Thought (17%)
25. New Age (14%)
26. Secular Humanism (12%)
27. Taoism (10%)

I never would have expected to have so much in common with the Catholics.

Hallelujah!
Hosanna!
Sola Scriptura!
Aprilibus Follis!