The Blaſphemous Bicycler

When I am evangelizing bicycle commuting, I usually point at my beer belly and tell people that cycling isn’t that hard, because even I can do it, and I’m a fatass.

Today, one of my co-workers tried to ride in to work, 11 miles from the East Shore. He’s a fairly young guy, skinny, plays soccer, etc.

He had to call someone to pick him up after 7 miles. Legs turned to jello, or somesuch.

Tonight, Girtong² and I did about 9 miles of the LVRT, before retiring to the pub to have beers and discuss the meaning of the universe.
While we were riding, Gritong² had to ask me to slow down. Girtong² runs 5ks races and shit.

Maybe I’m a liar when I point at my belly and say you don’t have to be “in shape” to ride a bike. I’m “in shape.” My shape is spherical, but it seems to work for me.

Today: 9 miles
May: 201.5 miles
2007: 490.5 miles
Beer calories: 1066.972

Brandi and I did a nice 10 mile ride on the CVRT tonight. Then we had a picnic at the Newville trailhead.

The new trail head at Newville is really nice. They have a nice bathroom and some shaded picnic tables with bar-b-que grills and the whole shebang.

We saw a few squirrels, a red fox, a chipmunk, and more bunnies than we could count.

The scenery was rather nice, too.

Today: 10 miles
May: 192.5 miles
2007: 481.5 miles
Zombie Brains: 1066.972

“Father, give me the Bull of Heaven,
so he can kill Gilgamesh in his dwelling.
If you do not give me the Bull of Heaven,
I will knock down the Gates of the Netherworld,
I will smash the door posts, and leave the doors flat down,
and will let the dead go up to eat the living!
And the dead will outnumber the living!”

– Ishtar to Anu, Epic of Gilgamesh

In the movies, zombie go around moaning that they want to eat your brains. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, and I’m 99% convinced that real-life zombies would not posses the language skills necessary to ask for their preferred food by name.

_{Zombies are nonverbal}

Actually, I very much doubt that brain tissue is any more nutritious than muscle, skin, or subcutaneous fat. Besides, brains are much harder to get at, being encased in a bony skull.

In summary, zombies do not eat brains, and even if they did, they couldn’t say so.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled bicycle blog.

I had to work for most of this holiday weekend, but I managed to get a ride in today. I wasn’t much in the mood to deal with the (likely intoxicated) holiday traffic, so I went to the Conewago Trail.

This trail used to be 5 miles of single track until it became the LVRT, when it got all nice and smooth. It looks like they only recently completed resurfacing the lower 3 miles of it. I saw full-blown skinny tyre roadies on it today.

It looks like the trail got seriously heavy use this weekend. It was covered in shit.

Dog shit, horse shit, all sorts of shit, all over the place.

WTF? Pick up after your dog and keep your horse on the horse side of the trail. Nobody wants to walk or ride through a sewer.

Other than the poop, it was a nice ride.

I usually ride past the Colebrook Twin Kiss ice cream place, but it was hot today, so I stopped for some ice cream. I recommend the maple walnut sundae.

It gave me a much needed sugar rush so I didn’t much mind dodging poop on the way back to the car.

Brandi is out of town this weekend visiting relatives, and she took the camera, so no pictures for this ride. Not that I’d really post poop pictures anyhow.

Today: 25 miles
May: 182.5 miles
2007: 471.5 miles
Gravometric Radiation: 1066.972 becquerels

The guys at the LBS apparently had some shipping mix-ups with a few components, but they assure me my karate monkey will be ready to roll “by the end of the week.”

I’m hoping that means tomorrow.

Depending on how much this ends up costing, I think we’re going to convert Brandi’s broken Mixte to a Sturmey-Archer 3-speed. She needs a new wheel in any event, and she’s not overly fond of the dérailleurs.

Today: 14 miles
May: 157.5 miles
2007: 446.5 miles
Gravometric Radiation: 1066.972 becquerels