The Blaſphemous Bicycler

As of today, I’ve been running this silly little blog for 2 whole years.I’ve been re-reading old entries the past few days as part of my database migration, and I’m noticing that I have much less focus now than I did when I first started this thing.I think it’s because I have sort of back-burnered my century-ride goal, and instead have been pursuing other…poorly defined objectives.

So, here are a few potential objectives, that I might actually try to pull off:

1. A 100-mile bicycle ride
2. Kayaking the entire susquehanna river
3. Becoming a vegetarian
4. Achieving buddhist enlightenment and/or nirvana
5. A holy pilgrimage to the Quick-Stop
6. Getting abducted by aliens

So far, my longest bike ride was about 41 miles. I’m a little less than half way to goal number one.

I have kayaked / canoed maybe 50 miles of the mighty susquehanna. The river is 410 miles long, so I have a long ways to go on that one.

I really like cheeseburgers, so becoming a vegetarian would be difficult, but I understand that it’s kind of a requirement for buddha-enlightenment. You also have to sit in zazen for a very long time.

I just saw clerks 2 last night, and a pilgrimage to the holy Quick-Stop would kick-ass. It’s 190 miles from Mechanicsburg to Leonardo, so it would take me about a week to go out and back by bicycle. I suppose it would be theoretically possible to kayak to it, but I’d have to win the lottery and be pretty seriously mentally ill to attempt it. (In other words, I just need funding)

I’m not sure what selection criterion the aliens use to choose thier abductees. I think I would make a good ambassador to the little green men, but there’s not much I can really do to make this one happen.

All things considered, I think I have the best chance of pulling off the 100 mile bike ride. I think I’m going to re-start my efforts to follow the official bonius.com training plan.

I got a few books on meditation, too. If I discover the meaning of the universe or any shit like that, I’ll let you know.

Brandi and I were planning to go kayak camping with some friends in Bald Eagle State Park this weekend. Due to logistical problems, we ended up relocating to Hickory Run state park in the Poconos. Nobody felt much like kayaking, so we went car camping instead.When we checked in to the campground, the (hottie-pants!) ranger lady told us to watch out for bears. She said there were 10 bears in the park:

Two females: one with six(!) cubs, the other with two, and one five hundred pound male.

I was kind of hoping to run into them. Bear pictures would look lovely up here on the blog.

It was really hot out, and I had a hell of a time setting up my tarp. Ultimately, I lost my composure, flew into a rage, and tossed the tarp in the (bear-resistent) dumpster.

The ranger lady wasn’t shitting us. We went off into town to find firewood, and all the houses had huge steel cages over thier garbage cans and gardens. They must have pretty aggressive bears.

We didn’t think to check ahead of time, but there was a NASCAR race in the Poconos this weekend, so the campground was full of loud, drunken hillbillies, and the lavatories were full of vomit. There’s nothing quite like the smell of fresh air, camp fires, and beer barf cooking in the hot sun.

It wasn’t exactly conducive to communing with nature…

_{Not everyone wants to rough it}

Between the boisterous neighbors and the opressive heat, I didn’t get very much sleep Friday night. But, we had some pretty severe rain on Saturday, which seemed to scare off most of the buffoons.

I deeply regretted the loss of my temper and tarp during the rain storms. Our tent sprung many leaks. I should have seam-sealed it before we left…

The rain cooled things off considerably. It got kind of chilly out Saturday night, but my 40° sleeping bag kept me plenty warm. I also got a insanely luxurious sleeping mat just for this trip. Very comfy.

The upshot is that I slept like a log, and kept half the campground awake with my snoring.

Brandi was somewhat less than amused, but it seemed to keep the bears away. We didn’t see any at all.

_{Beach on a mountain lake}

Despite the hillbillies and the heat, it turned out to be a nice trip.

My brother just picked up a new bike. It’s a dual-boinger mountain bike, so yesterday, we went to the mountains to get some dirt on it.
_{At the entrace of the Bald Eagle State Forest}

This was his first time on a bicycle in 13 years, so we didn’t cover a whole lot of ground (less than 5 miles), which was fine by me. It was hot enough outside to smelt pig iron.

The first days, as the song goes, are the hardest days. Riding gets more fun the more you do it.

I’ve got a bike
You can ride it if you like
It’s got a basket
A bell that rings
And things to make it look good
I’d give it to you if I could
But I borrowed it
-Syd Barrett

The raver, the seer of visions, the painter, piper, and prisoner
is gone.

I haven’t been so sad since Professor Sagan died.